It’s time to just let life happen. Stop worrying if you’re making the wrong decision or saying the wrong thing because the more time you spend worrying the less time you get to spend living, experiencing, and growing.
Love life? rant
My love life is non-existent and I’m going to hate saying this but… I’m a little (or a lot) heartbroken. I think… Idk, my emotions are really weird right now. It’s not like we were serious and when we were “talking” it’s not like I was crazy about him. I just, idk tbh. Maybe it’s the “you-never-know-what-you-had-until-it’s-gone” feeling or maybe it’s the “want-what-you-can’t-have” feeling or maybe it’s the unsatisfactory ”the-end” feeling. What I do know is that there will never ever be anything between us again (not that there really was)-which perplexes me because I miss him as if there was something between us. Which is why I’m mad at myself because I honestly shouldn’t be upset. Feelings suck, that’s all I know and I’m a hopeless romantic so no matter how many times I say gushy stuff is gross and how nonchalant I seem about love-I love the idea of love. It’s something I really do want in life. I want to love a guy who loves me the same unconditional (all that love gibberish stuff) and I want us to just want and need (maybe, I would hate to be reliant on him) each other. Not that the guy was this type of husband-to-be material, but he was the first guy that actually talked to me in a mature way. (Not nasty adult-material type stuff) But he talked to me in a non-high school dating kind of way, it was nice and maybe that’s why I miss whatever it is that we had. I just really want to have a mature relationship, it doesn’t have to be too serious but can it please be more than the “hey, how are you?” “how was work/school?” “blah blah blah” simple stuff, I want to like live life with the guy I’m talking to. Maybe I’m growing up too fast and whatnot, but can I just please have a somewhat serious relationship? Maybe that is too much to ask for. >__> Anyways…
erase exterminate these weird heartache-like feels in the middle of my chest (actually sorta to the left beside my boob). I would really appreciate it because the feelings seem to be permeating into the nerves which are mingling in my spinal cord and the feelings are invading my thought process which is crucial to everyday life. My life would be easier without them but I know that you never give anyone more than they can handle. I would like to get over this asap though. I love you God,
Dani Austin is my make-up inspiration. She’s so pretty & her videos are so enjoyable. Definitely a must watch for a down to earth make-up/health/ootd feels~